Hello and greetings.

For breakfast I ate a can of Hormel Chili which was recently rated at 42/80 points for the Tampa Bay "St. Petersburg Times" newspaper. That makes it the top rated chili for said newspaper and perhaps the best chili I have ever consumed. It was absolutely epic and featured meat and beans along with some sauce which made it a fantastic meal in my eyes. The meat was tender, delicate and filled with meat flavor, while the beans were luscious, soft and infectious to the taste buds. To make it even better, I decided to take my hand in crafting the perfect meal. I added what some may say is primitive, American ingredients, but I beg to differ, for the additude, flavour and texture in which they provide greatly outweighs the primitive manor they suffer and lack in exquisite exclusitivity and other nonsense uncessesary food characteristics, such as thickness, fat content and sloppiness, charcateristics which I consider vital to life itself.

By the time lunch time rolled around, approximately 2 hours later, I had decided that chili was far too primitive a food for any decent man to consume and feel egrigous in its consumption. I would make a delicious dish instead to outweigh the sin in which consuming Hormel Chili has wrought upon myself. I decided to not limit myself to delicous canned chili alone. That was the key, you see? Chili itself is primitive and boring. Meat and stew alone. Chunder. It can easily be fixed though.

Here comes my lunch. Chili, FREE-TOHS, and velvetta cheese. Take the 3 ingredients and mix them together in what some might call a crude mixture, but what I call beauty. Take you're chili and simmer until it's hot. Add celery and carrots if you're in some sort of hippie health phase of your life. If not, skip the nonsense and get straight to layering FREE-TOHS, meat and velvetta cheese mixture until you feel it's sufficient to bake a pie.

Consume while still hot. If your pie isn't screaming America the second it's removed from the oven, you have failed as a consumer and a person. FREETOH PIE> hte best.

I ate this for lunch today, then went for a ride in my friends Ferrari. It was an F40. It was quite fast and had a lot of grip, but much too fast for my tastes. I had just eaten lunch. I fancy a game show or perhaps a South Park episode if I'm feeling lucky after my meal. This car goes 0-60 in virtually no time whatsoever (3.9 seconds for you math nerds) and I was hyperaware of my safety at all times I was in the car. Perhaps he will let me drive it next time.

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