I do enjoy a Cheeseburger from time to time

Holy Shit. Hello Internet.

I had the most delicious fucking cheeseburger today. It was soft and meaty. I told the server I could detect Kansas beef in the flavor, but he argued with my greatness and assured me the meat I was consuming was raised in Nebraska. Those are both fantastic states for being able to raise such magnificent cattle for my consumption. The beef was pefectly broiled in a massive broiler (American size) and topped with 4 different types of cheeses which I can't be bothered to name individually at this point.

Actually, technically, it was 5 cheeses, count blue cheese. Six, if you count pastrami, as a cheese. But it's not. It's meat. All you vegans out there; this burger is for you. It had more than a half pound of beef by my measure, 6 types of cheeses including pastrami, mayonnaise, horseradish, oil, pepper, oil, mayonnaise, extra fat drained from the grill and thrown in the freezer until it acheived gelatin properties to be spread on my foods.

It was so delicious that I nearly swooned into a coma upon putting the last bite in my mouth. I was in such a euphoric state that when the waiter woke me up with the cheque, I forgot where I was and started harassing him. He insisted that I must pay before I fall asleep again, so I paid him for my meal, but added no tip because I felt discrimination and that the waiter was being rude in general. For example, he asked what type of cheese I want on my burger. I replied, "All types available. A miniumum of 6 would be appropirate my fine sir." His reply was a deadpan: "Really...? 6 ?"

I could tell he thought I was fat for insisting on 6 cheeses. Of course not my young squire. I only like eating. Now bring me a bag of your largest CHEE-TOHS and PEPSI to wash my Cheeseburger to the pit bottom of my endless stomach.